Brand Me (Imagine Ink Book 2) Page 14

  Michael refused to let her be anywhere near Richard, so he dropped canned goods and bars on the porch and ding dong ditched, but didn’t get all the way out of sight until he heard the front door open. If not for them, Richard wouldn’t have made it until John came.

  When he finally came at the eight week mark instead of six, John had taken Richard out first and dropped him at the airport, then came back to take Michael to the clinic. His hand needed a professional opinion. The wound had healed, but it didn’t seem right and Tori wanted him to have it looked at, not to mention grab some meds, just in case. Tori’s real purpose was hoping he might ask the doc for sleeping pills.

  It was a temporary solution to be sure, and not the recommended course of action, but he needed something. She may not have caught him crying, but she knew he wasn’t sleeping. Many nights she woke to go the bathroom and found him lying beside her, staring off into space. Some nights, the steady thud of the ax woke her. He chopped so much wood at night, they would be stocked for five winters, if not longer.

  The worst nights were when he was just gone—no clue where to, no sound to hint at his activity. Just, gone. Thigh deep snow, with a healthy ice layer, and he would be out in it somewhere. When that happened, she couldn’t sleep until he came back for fear he slipped on the ice out there somewhere and cracked his skull open.

  Tori had wanted to move to another cabin or have him move. But, with his mind wherever the Hell it was right now, he would see that as an act of rejection and judgment, instead of her trying to do the right thing. They had fallen into a routine here in this bubble, but she knew that in a month, they’d be leaving, returning to the real world.

  Tori decided to push her family plans back again, considering she and Michael may have a real relationship once he dealt with his baggage and she dealt with hers. She had no intention of holding off indefinitely for a man ever again. Pushing it back, temporarily, just to see how Michael felt outside the bubble would be no big deal. It would be fairly easy to tell. And depending on that, she’d proceed accordingly, but she was not putting her life on hold for someone else. However, she was willing to pause it to assess the situation.

  Upon arriving at the local clinic, Michael signed in for a long wait. Seemed everyone in town needed a doctor today. “John, you don’t have to wait for me. It looks like once enough ice melted for travel, everyone came out in droves. Pop over to the diner and have a bite to eat. I’ll call when I’m done if I can get a signal, if not, I’ll just hoof it over.”

  John clapped him on the back. “Sure thing, but check for me at the bookstore first. I heard the owner opened up a coffee and donut corner. I may just sit there enjoying designer coffee and a good book.”

  Let the waiting begin.

  Knowing he wouldn’t be called for at least half an hour, Michael went to the bathroom, plugged his phone in, and prayed for a signal.

  He had to clear some shit up back home before he and Tori returned, before she misunderstood certain situations. Dialing the number of one of the women who had broken him, he took a deep breath and waited.

  “Well, hello, sweetheart, I’m so glad you called. I’ve missed you so much. It’s lonely around here without you.” Tonya answered with her typical seductive tone. Only this time, it seemed to be laced with a little extra come hither and a hint of pout.

  “Drop the bullshit, Tonya. Did you get your stuff packed up and get out of my fucking house yet?”

  “No, Michael, I didn’t. Besides, you don’t really want me to either. Do you want to know why? Because you still love me, and you know I love you.”

  “Don’t.” Was all he managed to get out, not only because she cut him off, but because he had no spine with her. The guilt she had heaped on him when she fucking cheated, and then again when Shane dumped her ass and she waltzed back into his life, was fucking suffocating. Somewhere deep inside, he knew it wasn’t his fault she cheated but when she cried and manipulated him, he was powerless. He had loved her once and she continued to exploit the shit out of it.

  “Come on, Michael, you know we are meant to be. We can work this out and continue as planned. All you have to do is forgive one little indiscretion on my part. I would do it for you, will do it for you. How about that, hmm? You go have a fling before the wedding and we call it even?”

  “There’s not going to be a wedding, Tonya. I am not marrying you. You are not staying there and…”

  “You’re just confused, honey, because of all we’ve been through. I never canceled the wedding. I knew in my heart, it wasn’t what either of us wanted. You’re just hurt. The announcement will run as scheduled, and everything will be fine, I promise.”

  “No, Tonya. There is no us anymore, you saw to that. I want you OUT!” His voice was rising with his temper and he accepted the look of censure the old dude gave him as he exited the john.

  “I told you the day you left, when I moved back in, that our payment arrangement for the house no longer worked for me. Until you can buy my half of the property out right, you’re stuck with me. It’ll give you time to come to your senses, since you are clearly going through something.” Some of her seductive tone slipped and the venom came through. He fucking hated how she could read his voice, and even worse, that she would use it against him.

  “You know I can’t come up with that kind of cash.” Fuck, the last thing he wanted was for her to hear the defeat in his voice, and he knew if he heard it, so did she.

  She changed her tactic once again to demure and hopeful. “That’s a good thing, Michael, don’t you see? It gives us time together, and you time to come around and remember why you love me in the first place. We were good once, and we will be again, you’ll see.”

  “I alr…” Cut off by the sound of his name being called, he fucking couldn’t deal with her now. “This isn’t over.” Michael tore the phone from the wall, jabbed the end button, and made his way to the curtained area the nurse indicated.

  And fuck it all to Hell, who the Hell should be exiting the back rooms but Wendy. Was every mistake he ever made in his life having a fucking Screw With Michael Convention today?

  “Hey you!” Perky and happy was the best way to describe her attitude as she threw her arms around his neck.

  What the fuck? How could she not know? Michael started heaving. On the plus side, at least it caused her to back off.

  Giggling, the bitch spoke again, placing her hand on her stomach. “I know how you feel.” The nurse’s impatience was a Godsend. “Oh, I’ll let you go, but we should talk, call me?” She sashayed away without waiting for an affirmative or a Hell no.

  This day was so fucked up now, if the devil was watching, he’d just say, “oh, daaammmmmmmmn.”

  There wasn’t much to be done for his hand for now, but if he wanted the perfect dexterity he had prior, he would need surgery to remove scar tissue and such that was pressing on the tendons or some shit. All he knew was with limited range and dexterity in his fingers, his string skills were not as stellar as they used to be. Understatement. Some of that might clear up once the stiffness wore off. The doc gave him a muscle relaxer shot to help with that. Michael had too much other shit to deal with for now. Surgery was low priority. As long as he could still play for himself and sing he could deal with not being crowd-worthy for now. He’d been wanting to focus more on his singing for a while, so now was a good a time as any.

  He also had the clinic run an HIV/STD panel. Running into that bitch reminded him again that he wasn’t wearing a condom.

  Fuck, if the devil’s not rolling around on the floor in Hell laughing his spiked-tailed ass off. Probably witnessing some of his best work.

  Epically fucked.

  Michael entered the waiting room and noticed John seated there. “How long were you waiting? I thought you were going for a doughnut?” They walked outside and headed to where John had parked the Bobcat.

  “They were closed today, so I came back to the clinic in time to see some cute little local throw herself at y
ou. Damn man, you gotta tell me your secret.”

  Michael kept silent until they were out of town proper and on the trail up the mountain. “John, I’m going to say something to you that’s probably going to be the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard. Most likely you’ll call me a liar or an idiot, but please don’t. I need to say it to another man. You don’t have to say anything back, just listen.”

  Maybe he was feeling exposed and needed validation, or maybe it was the injection. Either way, he was going to say it before he chickened out.

  John must have recognized something in his voice that he missed, because he got serious. “Of course, Michael. You know you’re family to me. I would never judge you, and if it’s something I can help with, I won’t hesitate. But, I can just listen, too.” A gentle and quick pat to his shoulder told him he was safe with John. He wouldn’t laugh at him or tell him how most men would love to have that happen, et cetera.

  He took a deep breath, dropped his chin and spoke to his lap. “I think I was raped.”

  Michael kept his eyes firmly downcast so as not to see anything in John’s that might hurt him. The Bobcat came to a halt and Michael felt John turn his way.

  “Is that why you were at the doctor? Are you okay? Do you need to fly out, because I will leave that bastard of a brother of yours at the fucking airport and not look back?” John had been filled in on the whole Richard story, including the parts about Tori, a pregnant wife, and Michael’s parentage.

  It took Michael a minute to realize what John must have thought. “Not by a man, John, by a woman.” The only sound was John’s heavy breathing as he digested what he was just told.

  “My question still stands, are you okay? Do you need to fly out?” Michael just shook his head no, to both.

  “You know, it’s not unheard of, and it can be tough to deal with. No one should be touched if they don’t want to be.”

  “But maybe I did want it, at least on some level. I mean Hell, I had wood and I finished, so how is that really rape?”

  John’s tone bordered anger. “You listen to me. A man’s body isn’t like a woman’s, just because your body reacted does not mean you wanted it or that you were not violated.” After a brief pause, John posed some questions, with a calmer tone. “If I may ask, when did this happen? And where? And…who? Do you know her?”

  “It happened the night we arrived in town, I picked up a waitress from the diner and took her back to the hotel. We fooled around but it felt wrong, so I called an end to it, and she didn’t listen. I said no, but my body said yes. She straddled me and I couldn’t stop myself from coming. I didn’t want it to happen, but it did anyway. Then, when she hugged me today at the clinic like nothing was wrong, I started gagging. If I had eaten anything I would’ve thrown up.”

  “The girl from the clinic? She’s the one?” The look on John’s face worried him and he wondered why, but he didn’t have to wonder for long. John was a straight shooter and he didn’t sugar coat things.

  “You have to file a report. Then, when it lands on the DA’s desk, we’ll wait and see if they file charges. It won’t be easy, especially on you. And there is a good chance it won’t go any further with the DA, but my sister runs an advocacy group for male victims of sexual assault, and files civil suits when the state declines to prosecute. She feels male victims are a misunderstood and poorly represented group, and so do I. Stacy fights tooth and nail to get men the same justice as women when it comes to sexual assault.”

  Michael looked at John as if he had two heads. God, I wish I’d told him sooner. I had no idea I could receive the validation that John is offering me now. “I can’t tell you what it means to have your understanding. I, I…don’t know what to say. How in the Hell did you get so wise about such a horrible subject?”

  Michael wished he could take the question back when a haunted, faraway look settled on John’s face, but he seemed to be able to give it it’s due, then move on. I can’t wait until a time in my life when I can do that.

  “Well, aside from my younger sister Stacy, we also had a younger brother, Troy. He was a happy go lucky kid, well, no so much a kid as a teen, but still. He was outgoing, funny, and athletic. Heavily scouted by college coaches by his junior year. A running back like our small town had never seen. He was popular, and smart, boy, was he smart. Most jock types barely get by, but not Troy. If he didn’t go to a big university on a football scholarship, he was damn sure going Ivy League on an academic one. He was the best of us.”

  Michael had known John for years, and had heard him mention Stacy in passing, but never Troy.

  “Well, Stacy had just finished her last year in law school and moved back home to help me with Troy until he graduated and she took the bar. Six months, that all it would be, but six months changed everything. With our parents gone, we’d raised Troy since middle school. We noticed the changes in him his last semester of high school. We couldn’t get him to talk and we thought it was just teenage angst you know? We weren’t experienced with raising kids.”

  Tears were already threatening to make a run down Michael’s cheek. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew where this was going. As bad as he felt for John, Troy, and Stacy, he waited with bated breath thinking there might be a kinship there, a comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone, even though he didn’t wish this on anyone.

  “Anyway, his wisdom teeth got impacted and he had to have surgery. On the way home, under the influence of the drugs, he broke down and told us everything. A girl he was kind of dating raped him. It was heart wrenching to hear him describe the helplessness he felt to defend himself even though he was strong enough to. The worst part was him thinking he somehow wanted it because his body reacted normally. He fell into a deep depression after we made him come forward. The cops laughed at him, and then, she filed counter charges, saying he raped her instead and she had been too afraid to come forward at first.”

  Wow, Michael could relate to that.

  “Her lawyer was slick and made Troy say all the wrong things on the stand and he was convicted of rape instead of her. While we were working on appeals, he died in prison. But not before he was raped by our justice system. It was finally too much for him, and he took the only way out he could. Stacy vowed that day she would advocate for people like him—men who are victimized by women and then by our society if they tell anyone and once again by our system if they seek justice.”

  Michael couldn’t be more stunned if he’d been tasered. People may not believe in some sort of higher power, but how else could it be explained that John was in his life and the person he chose to tell?

  “So, I know Michael. I have some idea of what you’re going through and I will not let you blame yourself. And Stacy, well, if justice is to be had, she can do it. It’s going to get better, that I can promise. If you surround yourself by the right people, it will get better.”

  The floodgates on Michael’s mouth flew open and he told John everything, including what went down with Tonya, and being impotent until he saw Tori.

  “It sounds like Tori may be who you need by your side to see you through this. Does she know you love her, Hell, do you know?”

  Michael opened his mouth to respond, but John cut him off. He started the Bobcat and they resumed their trip. “You don’t have to answer that, I can see the truth of it. You need to call that Dr. Beckett she told you about, you need to file that report, and we need to see if we can’t get this woman in jail before we focus on love. Besides, if we can get her charged, it will go better for you if there’s a custody hearing?”

  “Better for me if…? What the Hell are you talking about?”

  “I’m not going to bullshit you, I was sitting there when she checked out. She got a prescription for prenatal vitamins and an appointment with an OB for next month. I’m sorry man. I wish you didn’t have to deal with that possibility on top of everything else, but there it is. I can’t say if it’s yours or not, Hell, that may have been why she got aggressive, to foist it off on you
. But for the sake of no surprises, you have to accept that it’s a possibility that she could be pregnant with your child.”

  Having spent so much time alone today, Tori was going stir crazy. She decided a run was in order. There was still a lot of snow on the ground, but the ice layer had finally melted off, so nothing she couldn’t handle. Tough Mudder’s arctic enema makes this look like a beach party. Donning sweats and a hoodie, she took off for a steady, but slow pace around the lake, and lapped it twice. By the time she returned, Michael still hadn’t made it back. She grabbed her bath bag and headed toward the promise of a steaming spa tub.

  Waiting for possible news from home was killing her. Michael took her cell into town. If he got a signal, he would download her messages and texts. Dreaming of what possibilities awaited her when he returned, she bathed and went back to their cabin.

  She wanted to make it pleasant for Michael to return, give him a sense of belonging for lack of a better description, so she rummaged through the new supplies John brought.

  If she were honest with herself, she wanted him to have a sense of homecoming without sex. Home, coming home. That’s something he referenced every time he entered her body. As much as that turned her on, she wanted him to embrace that sense outside of physical intimacy, show him he could have that, even without her, he just needed to be open to the possibility.

  Once he accepted that, he would have a sense of freedom. He wouldn’t need to cling to her or anyone because there were no other possibilities or because he was comfortable. No, he’d seek out the person he chose to spend time with, and they would know he wanted to be with them because of want, not because he needed to for his sanity. Tori needed that, too—had to know she was a choice, a conscience choice, and that he wasn’t choosing her just because they shared a common enemy who caused them pain or because she was there when he found out his life was a lie. That sort of thing tended to bind a person to another if they were there or the first person to offer comfort when it all came crashing down.